People get frozen by hatred. When not-so-good things happen in our lives, sometimes we tend to blame others. We blame our parents for not raising us right; we blame the government; we blame our business partners for not working how we would wish them to … And the list goes on and on. But really, what good comes with this? After you read this article, you’ll see why getting frozen by hatred is unnecessary and completely irresponsible.
Next time something goes wrong and you are about to complain: stay alert for this blaming attitude. Catch it before it spreads and question it.
Doing this will allow you to see things differently. Maybe you’ll even get to wear somebody else’s shoes. And later on, it’s possible you won’t want to complain about it anymore.
You see, blaming others is easy. But then, the truly sad thing is that this only creates a negative energy. If we let such bad emotions grow within, we’ll soon find out that nothing goes right whatever we do.
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
Yes, I just quoted Star Wars. Aren’t Yoda’s words extremely wise though? If we talk about fear, it may come even if you don’t notice it. Any kind of reluctance could be hiding some unknown fear inside. When you discover it, you’ll start breaking through. For example, the constant attitude of blaming others could actually be the representation of a fear of assuming responsibility yourself.
Let go of hatred!
We have to learn to let go of hatred. I’m not just saying that because it sounds easy. It’s actually quite hard to achieve. See it this way: not everybody can. That’s the reason many people are still overwhelmed by everything that happens “to them”. If they can’t see they hold the power to change their own lives, then nobody can do that for them. Nevertheless, realizing you are living like that is always the first step.
Let it be. Things (whether they are good or bad) are going to happen anyway. If you just let them come with neither judgements nor excuses, you’ll soon find out that hatred fades away.
“Whatever happens is my fault”. When you blame no-one / nothing else for your failures, you are taking the responsibility. You take control. Instead of complaining about the situation, you become the boss of it. Doesn’t that sound better?
If you look at it that way, then you are already changing things. If, however, you keep thinking someone else is at fault, it’s like you are just crossing your arms and then it will be even harder to do something about it.
One of the best books I have read in my life was “No Excuse!” by Jay Rifenbary. I highly recommend it and please feel free to ask me about how to put this in practice.
[Rifenbary] provides a concise plan for returning personal responsibility to our homes, at work, and in other areas of our lives. This book helps organizations and individuals return to this sense of ownership.
Living a long list of excuses won’t get you anywhere. It’s like you are building a wall around you that won’t let you see properly. There will always be all kind of excuses to pick from your wall. Sure enough, you will never be able to give the best of you.
Clogged by hatred? Release it!
Only after you assume responsibility, good things start happening. By “good things”, please understand I don’t mean winning the lottery or finding true love. Being “fine” with yourself and your current situation (whatever this may be) is what comes after you release the energy flow that was previously clogged by hatred.
I can’t think of any better attitudes than self-love and optimism towards life. If you are content with what you are, you’ll shine. If you don’t believe me, that’s okay. Just give it a go and find out for yourself.
Want to read more advice from an experienced Fail Coach? Then browse through our category “Life Coaching” and take a day off, because you’ll find plenty of interesting reading material.
4 Ways to Let Go of Regrets - Miha Matlievski - Fail Coach
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